


Things On My Mind

by flotsam45



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: 19 year old!John, M/M, older than him!Sherlock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-22
Updated: 2017-04-22
Packaged: 2018-10-22 12:32:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10697088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flotsam45/pseuds/flotsam45
Summary: Sherlock's been particularly distant, and John wants to know why.Revised RP from July 2014.





	Things On My Mind

John stirred awake to notice the bed empty, frowning, he sat up and slid out from under the sheets. He threw on a pair of pants and slipped on Sherlock's dressing gown, which had been hanging on the door, and stepped out. Lately he had been waking up alone more often, and going to bed alone more often too. Padding into the kitchen, he started tea, noticing Sherlock wasn't in the kitchen doing anything either. For the year he had been living here with Sherlock, he usually was in the kitchen in the morning if he wasn't sleeping off a post-case high, humming with worry, he stepped into the sitting room. One thought kept nagging in his mind, was Sherlock growing tired of him? Was he finally sick of John's class schedules with medical school? Was he regretting their age difference? Trying not to let the worries take over, he crossed his arms against the morning chill, "Sherlock?" He called out, wondering where in the world his lover was.

 

Sherlock's eyes snapped open as he heard John call for him. He sighed softly, his head falling back to lean against the wall of the hallway. He was sitting on the floor, leaning against the hallway outside of 221B, his knees to his chest and his fingers steepled under his chin. After a moment, he stood, and brushed himself off, and went back inside the flat. "Good morning, John." he greeted quietly. He shuffled over to the sofa and plopped down, resuming his usual position, laying down on it with a pensive expression.

 

John was a bit puzzled to see Sherlock come in from the hallway and not even seem to have gone anywhere, considering he was still in his lounge wear and red dressing robe. "Morning.." He said as he watched his boyfriend settle on the couch. "Would you like some tea?" He asked as he walked over and hovered in entrance of the sitting room for a minute, unsure if he should go to Sherlock or if he was unwanted at the moment. "What were you doing out in the hall?" He asked, curious.

 

Sherlock licked his lips unconsciously at the thought of tea. "Yes." he hummed, eyes falling closed for a moment. At John's question, his eyes opened again, and he looked over at his lover. "I was...thinking." he replied reluctantly. Sighing he sat up and ran a hand through his hair.

 

"Thinking?..Out in the hall?" He glanced to the door, Sherlock usually just took to laying on the couch when he was thinking, it seemed odd that he felt he had to go out of the flat. "Alright.." John didn't want to press, and so he instead settled for going to pull another cup for tea and finishing breakfast, he even put some cinnamon on toast to hope that Sherlock ate a little something. "Here." He said, walking to the couch and placing the plate and tea beside Sherlock.

 

Sherlock smiled to himself when John turned his back. John's questioning tone as he spoke made clear that he was confused as to why Sherlock had left the flat just to think. As John returned, he put on a blank look, and thanked John quietly for the tea and food. He sipped tea, while looking at the toast in disdain.

 

John figured Sherlock would have told him about what was going on if he wanted, so the younger man settled at the table with the newspaper and read it as he ate breakfast, trying to not let worry bother him as he wondered what Sherlock was doing and why he wasn't telling John what had been on his mind.

 

Sherlock glanced at John, and picked up his tea and plate and joined his lover at the table. He nibbled on his toast as he fiddled on his smartphone, hoping he'd find a case to distract him. He sighed softly as there were none that seemed interesting enough, and he put his smartphone down, slumping back in his chair, continuing to take small bites of toast.

 

John looked up and smiled happily at Sherlock joining him at the table, he went back to the paper, until Sherlock's sighs made him look up with a raised eyebrow. "No cases today?" He asked as he sipped his tea. Glad to see Sherlock eating a little toast, it made him happy that his lover was eating more normally, he had already put on some weight that made him look much healthier.

 

Sherlock hummed in confirmation. "None worth looking into." he muttered, ripping off a piece of toast irritably and popping it in his mouth. "Honestly, you would think that some murderer would at least try to be a little more creative..." he sighed dejectedly.

 

"I'm sorry that the murders are not as interesting as you like them." He snorted a small laugh and shook his head, but smiled at his lover fondly. "Ever think you might just have scared them all away from London?" He teased a bit as he finished up his own toast.

 

Sherlock huffed. "If that were the case, I'd be incredibly disappointed. I might be tempted to move to somewhere more prone to crime." he said. He stretched his arms and legs, sighing.

 

"I can't imagine you moving anywhere away from London." He said with a grin as he let his foot brush along Sherlock's leg before standing up to put away their plates, pleased with Sherlock having eaten the slice of toast he made.

 

Sherlock smiled slightly, and followed John. "I suppose." he murmured, wrapping his arms around John from behind him, resting his chin on John's shoulder. He pressed his lips to John's neck softly, before sighing contentedly.

 

Feeling Sherlock's arms around him, he smiled and leaned back, letting his eyes fall shut as he hummed softly. He enjoyed the feeling of Sherlock's warm body against his. "What's been on your mind, love?" He asked softly, letting on hand go up and run through his boyfriend's hair.

 

Sherlock tensed. So it had been that obvious that he was thinking about something big, was it? Well, looking back, it was rather peculiar for him to be so...distant. He sighed, and shook his head. "It's nothing you need to concern yourself over." he assured John.

 

Frowning, he turned in Sherlock's arms and looked up at him, resting his hands on his shoulders. "It does concern me, it has been making you act odd." He cocked his head to the side slightly, brows furrowed. "It's like you don't want to me to be around as much."

 

Sherlock cringed. "It's not....It's not like that, John." he said, looking away. "I'm sorry I've been acting different lately, but it's doesn't have anything to do with you. I just...need to think about...things...for a while." He looked at John, and pressed a kiss to his cheek, before pulling away.

 

"What things?" He asked, worry creeping into his voice as he felt emotion overwhelming him, especially when Sherlock pulled away from him. His arms dropped limply to his sides ."Are you tired of me? Or..are you realizing that I'm too young? Is there something I did?" He shook his head. "You say it is fine but everything screams that it is not."

 

Sherlock looked at John in surprise and blinked rapidly. "John, I-...." He sighed, and ran a hand through his hair. "I'm not-...No. No." He took John's hands in his. "John, you're amazing and wonderful and despite your age you're mature and helpful and responsible and I love you. I love you so much, I often wonder what I did to deserve someone like you." he said quietly. "I don't understand why you put up with me and how you could even think me worthy to be your lover, but I am eternally grateful for you. I love you, John." He looked into John's eyes. "So please don't think that I'd ever get tired of you or that you did something wrong or that I think you too young or  _ anything else _ ." he said solemnly.

 

When Sherlock spoke, so earnest and honest, John felt his cheeks flame up and he felt ashamed for his worrying now. Sherlock was clearly upset he thought those things and he bit his lip. "I'm sorry." He murmured softly. "I love you too, of course I do, I love you more than anything else, I just..You had been so distant lately and I got worried." He pulled Sherlock close to him, wrapping his arms around his waist and tucking his head against his neck. "You are brilliant, and amazing, and a bit mad but in a good way, and I love you, you don't need to deserve me, there is no one else in the world that I would rather be with than with you."

 

Sherlock leaned into John's embrace, and he hugged him back. "You don't have to apologize. It's perfectly understandable. I've been unreasonably distant, and I've given you no reason for it." he mumbled. Swallowing, he nuzzled into John's neck as he took a deep breath and exhaled. His cheeks grew pink as he thought of his next words. "I think it's only fair to tell you now..." He swallowed nervously. "I wasn't being entirely honest when I said that my being distant was not your fault. It is....partially your fault." He cleared his throat before continuing. "You're still going to school, and I am aware of our age gap. I don't know if you're going to move on one day, so I didn't know if I should bring it up. You're young, and you still have a great deal of opportunities to meet better people, better lovers... I'm thankful that you put up with me. That is, that you've put up with me for this long. I didn't know how to bring this topic up with you. You're.... I'm..." He sighed frustratedly. "If you'd be alright with committing further to this relationship, I would like for us to get married. Eventually, I mean. You don't have to, but I just... I mean, if you.... I love you. So much. But you don't have to say yes." Sherlock could feel his face redden further. God, he must sound like an idiot.

 

It was easy to relax now, relax into Sherlock's hold and be happy that he had such a wonderful lover. There had been a misunderstanding yes, but John couldn't blame Sherlock for it, it was both their fault - John for worrying and being doubtful of the other's love, and Sherlock for being distant. But it was okay now, they had figured it out, and he had never been happier he was sure. When Sherlock started speaking again though, he felt himself go stiff for one moment, and then go bright red, with his heart fluttering a bit as Sherlock spoke. "Sherlock. "He said with a laugh. "Of course I would marry you, in a heartbeat, we could go right now if you'd like." He chuckled and kissed his boyfriend softly and gently. "You are wonderful, Sherlock, I want to be with you, there isn't any 'putting up with' it is my pleasure to be with you every day, and I would love to do it for the rest of our lives. No one will ever make me as happy as you."

 

Sherlock stared at John wide eyed. His vision began to blur with tears, and he quickly buried his face in John's shoulder. "You're serious?" he asked, his voice wavering at the end.

 

"Of course, love, I have never been more serious." John promised as he squeezed Sherlock close. "Nothing would make me happier than to marry you and spend the rest of our lives together. Chasing after criminals and whatever other messes you lead us into."

 

Sherlock laughed, and wiped at his eyes. He kissed John firmly, his hands coming up to cup John's face as he did so. Pulling back for air, he rested his forehead against John's. "I don't have a ring at the moment. Didn't think I'd be doing this for at a while." he said apologetically.

  
Kissing Sherlock back, John smiled widely and wrapped his arms around his neck, kissing him briefly over and over again for a long moment. "It's alright, there is no rush." He murmured before kissing Sherlock again and smiling as he pulled back. "For now having you say it is enough."


End file.
